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Gossiping
Technique:
Gossiping is a self reinforcing behavior that originates as a defense.
It works as a tensional release and tends to elevate the personās sense
of well being in the short run, but tears down rather than building community
and sets up competitive rather than cooperative feelings.
Procedures:
- Explain
and define what constitutes gossiping and how it differs from productive
conversing and discussing.
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Finds fault with another
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Puts another in a bad light
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Describes or details behaviors that most people consider private
or intimate affairs
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If discussing problems, it is done from the vantage of "aināt
it awful" rather than as a constructive and meaningful teaming
to provide insight towards helping the person
- Review
communications material from Transactional Analysis (I'm O.K., You're
O.K.) and practice adult messages.
Parent
: Accuse, berate, belittle, boss
Adult : Express feelings and needs directly and non judgementally
Child : Whine, complain, tease and hassle
Healthy communication tends to come from the "adult" position.
Gossiping tends to be more of a "parent" message that blames,
berates and belittles.
- Review
value communication lessons (Content Emphasis) and increasing tolerance
(Capstone)
- Try
"Looks like, Sounds like" activities to increase awareness
of things being said and to work to improve a more positive ambiance.
- Model
these ideas, refraining from gossip about the school or students.
- Most
importantly, work to say good of others and to set a classroom climate
that rewards kindness and thoughtfulness.
"If you can't say somethinā nice, donāt say nuthinā at all"
- Bambi
Gossip is mischievous, light and easy to raise, but grievous to bear
and hard to get rid of.
- Hesiod
Once you
have completed this topic you should:
Go back to Techniques
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