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ESE502 : The Class : Pro-active Management : Supportive Discipline : Lesson 8

Lesson Eight - Middle School

Self-Understanding - Communications

Preset: Pass out colored paper and let students develop a personalized door to their home, room, or heart and let them work on it until class starts.
    Round Robin of student input. Focus for this could be on personal world view.
    Check with the students on their self monitoring notebooks.
    Ask for questions and student need for clarification on self monitoring.
Development:
Last lesson we devoted to world view and monitoring how we tend to "take" messages.
This lesson will expand on our knowledge of communications and we will learn a key to changing our world view when we choose. This technique is called self talk.

Activity:
  1. Have students fold a paper into fourths and list each of the four steps in a separate quadrant of the paper.

    In quadrant #1 will be Appropriate Self Talk. Have students get into groups of 3-4. Groups are to explain the four basic steps to effective communicating. Then they pass the paper to the nearest group. Have a group discussion and explain what each step means. The new group will develop a changed or expanded definition in the quadrants as necessary.

  2. Pass out the Appropriate Self Talk worksheet. Go over the basic ABC construct. Next, have students fill out the three examples. Allow students to share their B and C ideas. Amend as needed.

  3. Remind students that a key to communicating is self knowledge that is shared. Have students complete the "Inside story" page and fix the door pattern over it once it is completed. Next, have them place the pages around the room so that students can "open up" to each other during sharing.
Summary:
    The first step in self monitoring is to recognize the feelings and behaviors.
    The second step requires validation or clarifying.
    The third step tracking feelings and behaviors.
    The fourth step is making the changes. ABC is the most direct way to do this
    Keep working on the self-monitoring booklets.
    Knowing ourselves and monitoring our actions gives us the potential to honestly be responsible for self and for our own education.
Materials: "Door Pattern " and "Inside Story" worksheet
Communications worksheet
Appropriate Self Talk worksheet
ABC info

Inside My Head

ABC's of Communications

Appropriate Self Talk


Self talk that builds us is as easy as A + B + C
  1. activating event
  2. belief system
  3. consequence from emotions

example

  1. You smile and say "Hi" but the person doesn't respond
  2. You may choose to think:
      "He's so stuck up!"
      "Nobody likes me!" or
      "I need to speak up.
  3. Then you act on those feelings, and if you guess wrong, it may create problems that hurt you or others in the long run.
Try these:
  1. You enter the class, sit down, and the nearest person moves to another seat.

  1. The boy across the room seems to be staring at you with a frown.

  1. Your friend says, "We always eat lunch there; you're never any fun any more.

How did you do? It's easy to set up more situations. You and your friends can jot down actual experiences and practice them on each other. It's surprising how many times we feel hurt without anyone really intentionally offending us. Remember this saying:
    He who is offended when no offense was intended is a fool.
    He who is offended when offense is intended is probably still acting the fool.

You should now:

Go on to Assignment 2
or
Go back to Supportive Discipline

E-mail J'Anne Ellsworth at Janne.Ellsworth@nau.edu

NAU

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