Ellen Degeneres virus	Your IBM suddenly claims it's a Mac
Monica Lewinsky virus	Sucks all the memory out of your computer
Titanic virus	Makes your whole computer go down
Disney virus	Everything in the computer goes goofy
Mike Tyson virus	Quits after one byte
Prozac virus	Destroys your data but your machine doesn't care
Sharon Stone virus	Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there
Lorena Bobbit virus	Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy
Tim Allen Trojan Horse	Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive while trying to fix it
Woody Allen virus	Bypasses the motherboard and turns on the daughter card
Saddam Hussein virus	Destroys any file you try to view
Tonya Harding virus	Turns your .bat files into lethal weapons
George Michael virus	Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup
Joey Buttafuoco virus	Only attacks minor files
X-files virus	All your icons start shape shifting
Spice Girl virus	Not dangerous - makes a pretty desktop but wastes a lot of space
Ronald Reagan virus	Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored
Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus	Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them
Sony Bono virus	Just when you get surfing the Web, a firewall appears out of no where
Martha Stewart virus	Color codes your files and folds them into cute little doilies for display on your desktop
Oprah Winfrey virus	Your 200MB hard drive suddenly bloats to 300MB, and then slowly shrinks to 80MB
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus	Terminates and stays resident. But it'll be back