DOS AIRLINES: Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then push again, jump on again, and so on.

MAC AIRWAYS: All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, and everything will be done for you without you having to know, so just shut up.

WINDOWS AIRLINE: The airport terminal is nice and colorful with friendly stewards, easy access to the plane, an uneventful takeoff, then the plane blows up without any warning whatsoever.

FLY NT: Everyone marches out onto the runway, says the password in unison, and forms the outline of an airplane. Then they all sit down and make a whooshing sound like they're flying.

UNIX AIRLINE: Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building.

AMIGA AIR: A small private airline with lots of onflight movies, snacks and other luxuries to keep the passengers happy. Unfortunately, after takeoff, the plane has nowhere to go and keeps flying in circles until it runs out of fuel and crashes. The few surviving passengers, unable to comprehend the magnitude of the disaster, ardently vow to keep flying the same plane once it's put back together.