Listening

Listening

Metacommunicating

Listening

Metacommunicating

The following ideas strengthen group and build openness to the ideas and messages being shared in group. Many sounds reach the ear, but true listening is an art.

Everyone who is here belongs here.

We will keep each other safe.
We are all welcome.
We will work to maintain comfort for all.

We listen for the person inside who is living and feeling.

We listen to ourselves.

An important part of our purpose is being in contact with each other.

We listen for deeper meaning in the things people say, and clearly assumptions.

Are you saying . . .
I understand that to mean . . .
Did I get the message, then when i say . . .
So, what you need is . . .

For each person, what is true is determined by what is in the person, what s/he feels, expresses, what makes sense in that self hood.

Task commitment is important, but trust and community building is equally essential.

We try to be as honest as possible and to express ourselves as we really are.

We feel as much as we can, and work to be safe to share what we feel.

The identified social leader is responsible for two critical elements.

S/he protects the belonging of each member.
S/he provides openings for each to be heard.

We face the realism of the situation rather than pretending things are different or turning from honoring the reality by blaming and fault finding.

Decisions made by the group include the input of everyone.

The confidentiality of the group is sacrosanct. This applies to everything said during group, whether it seems private, or was given in confidence or is a comment made in passing. Only the person who owns the statment or information may decide with whom and when to share it.

Thinking about and sharing insights surrounding talking and listening
When the group is on task, it is important to stay focused on work related topics. This works best if the group sets up a time to work on trust building. One good idea is to establish a celebration toward the end of each group session. During this time, each person makes observations about things others did to help the group work well. When session are stormy, it is even more important, and members may feel less able to express appreciation for what went well. Building community is hard work, and saluting efforts and success is a critical part of communicating, caring and building trust!

We have two ears and one mouth. We should listen more and talk less. - Cato the Elder
Good listening builds trust. List 10 way to be a good listener.

Some of these items mean more to you than others. Discuss four of the points as a group.

Rank the points.
Each person chooses the top issues.
Each member tells why the point is so critical.

Trust issue Ranking Reason

Ask the social leader to count the number of times the top three emerge in the next meeting and celebrate each person who uses them in group.

ESE380 : The Class : Commander Troy : Pensive Pat : Listening

Celebrating
Does your group spend the last five minutes celebrating successes?
If so, congratulations are in order for everyone!
If not, discuss ways to use this tool for group trust building.

As a group, we will enhance celebrating by: ___________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

Once you have finished you should:

Go back to Lesson 2

E-mail J'Anne Ellsworth at Janne.Ellsworth@nau.edu