Clinging
Vine/Teacher's Pet
Technique: Show compassion and maintain clear boundaries.
- Some
students are emotionally fragile and need the comfort of being close
to someone who is dependable and consistent.
- Many
young people in middle school and high school do not have the coping
skills to deal with peers effectively. They may turn to adults for attention
and acknowledgement.
- Only
children, first children and gifted youth may find the most comfort
and companionship with adults.
- Being
socially inept during adolescence has little causal relationship with
ability to be successful as an adult.
- In some
social situations being popular seems to exact a price of illegal acts
-- drug and alcohol use, premature sexual intimacy, gang membership,
smoking. Some students do not wish to participate but lack the skills
or ability to stand alone. By aligning with teachers, the pressure may
lessen.
Procedures:
- Clarify
boundaries and maintain a teacher role.
- Provide
appropriate times and places for adult / student interaction.
- Ask students
if they would like help becoming involved in school activities.
- Seek
reason and clarification of the student need.
- Provide
opportunities for peer interaction (cooperative learning, values lessons,
classroom governance)
- Consider
referral if student seems troubled or isolated.
- Some
students may develop a crush on a teacher. It is unethical and illegal
to become intimately involved with a student.
- Do
not write notes to students.
- Do
not be alone one on one with a student.
- Gently
nip overtures.
- Monitor
and halt casual "accidental" touching.
- Do
not share intimate details of life with student nor allow
the student to share intimate feelings and private knowledge.
- Talk
with another teacher or professional when first aware of a potential
situation to help in maintaining objectivity.
- If
the situation escalates, share with school administrator and get
assistance per recommendations.
- Suggest
a pet such as a horse, dog, cat, ferret, or rabbit for youngsters who
need comforting. Animals provide a wealth of loyalty and a healthy way
to change the focus of pain or loneliness from self absorption to nurturance
and unselfish caring.
Medical concerns:
Students who exhibit this type of behavior may be alerting the teacher to
a past or ongoing experience of sexual abuse. Opposite sex teachers may
be at grave risk when comforting a student and should NOT place themselves
in a position where they will be alone with a student. Strong reason to
believe the student has been abused must be reported to authorities. It
is an excellent idea to go through the school nurse in checking assumptions
and getting assistance in notifying appropriate authorities.
Once you
have completed this topic you should:
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