Honesty - Being and Doing

Honesty - Being and Doing

ESE548 : The Class : Commander Troy : Pat : Being and Doing

Statements that honor the things we do are powerful. We hear many of them each day. Comments about who we are, or being, are compelling! We get most of these statements from nonverbal cues and responses. When we look for unconditional regard, it is being statements we seek.

Being statements:

Doing statements:

Authentic and genuine
Non judgemental
Heart to heart
Trust involved
Often nonverbal - - smile, eyes lit up, gentle touch, warm hand shake?
Usually comes from unconditional stance Task oriented
Often judgmental
Focused on behavior
Based on observable skills or actions
Trust involved
Frequently verbal, though usually there are non verbal markers as well
May include praise or manipulative comment

Example:

By person #1

About person #1

By person #3

About person #3
By person #2

About person #3

By person #4

About person #4

"Being" Statements What is the diffence between praise and "being statements?

Articles have been written against using praise in the classroom. Discuss your thoughts about this.

What is the difference between talking about what is right or correct and being judgemental?

It is "crazy-making" according to some experts, to send a double bind message (Bateson, 1973; Haley, 1976). That means giving a positive message either verbally or nonverbally and a negative message at the same time. For example, a teacher might say "You did a good job" and smirk at the same time, or the group might praise a person for what he has said, and then refuse to let him communicate further.

Share personal examples of this kind of communicating, and agree to monitor the group during the next meeting to see if there are times when double messages are sent.

Once you have finished you should:

Go back to Lesson 2

E-mail J'Anne Ellsworth at Janne.Ellsworth@nau.edu