Full Speed Ahead

Balancing Being and Doing - a summary
Some youngsters are not ready to function well in a community setting. The following suggestions will help the youth move into a more functional mode. Rather than switching to the autocratic governance model, ask everyone to join in utilizing the following steps.

1) Increase the structure in the community and help members of the system practice appropriate behavior within each setting.
2) Provide models for appropriate behaviors and provide a means whereby system members or self may make restitution when errors occur. Never punish self or allow others to feel punished.
3) Develop and communicate messages for others which let them know that you like who they are, not just what they do. Do the same for self.
4) Implement a working style which highlights each person as an important individual. Remember to include yourself.
5) Emphasize the importance of working at a task and coming to completion, and include the step of self appreciation for a job well done.
6) Provide ways for youngsters to alert you or others to difficulties in tasks which feel too difficult, and work out ways for children to tackle those tasks in step appropriate fashion, always capitalizing on the energy and motivation that comes from success and avoiding the destructive feelings and lack of task commitment that come from total and abject failure. That includes circumventing the anxiety that develops if a child believes that nothing is adequate.
7) Nourish children in understanding the excitement and buoyancy of energy that comes from a great challenge which is met and a "mountain" climbed.
8) Become proactive in management techniques:

a. Teach the concept of members having self-control and being in charge of themselves, their bodies, their time, their work.
b. Base management on constructive and positive statements.
c. Recognize and honor those who are giving a good accounting of their time and energy -- and remember to include self.
d. Teach and then enforce members valuing one another -- "Do unto others as you wish others to do unto you" -- .
e. Learn to ignore inappropriate behavior and refuse to spend time communicating dissatisfaction to errant members.
f. Focus on motivations for misbehavior and address the causes of dysfunction and the needs of the person rather than nagging at the symptoms.
g. Motivation and nurturance become a major focal point of energy and time as a function of communicating and valuing
h. In order to have esteem in DOING, people must be able to DO. Therefore, more than ever before, we must concentrate on accelerating real accomplishment of important system and life skills.
i. Use multiple learning and communication style approaches so that each person has an opportunity to develop and use personal strengths
j) Develop self understanding and recognition of the rules and consequences involved in the learning process or family situation, viewing self as leader.
k) Consistently verbalize for those who break the rules that what they are doing is not appropriate, but that their being is safe and lovable.
l) Work on esteem needs for the self as well as working on the esteem needs of children. In giving self messages, be certain to follow the same general guidelines - change behaviors, accept self; recognize the doing as inappropriate and make corrections, then let yourself get "off the hook".
m) Project self as a likable person - using referent power and the historical role of parent or teacher to gain love and respect from youth.

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