Self Control
We have natural reactions to situations that are stressful. Some of the emotions
we feel are anger, guilt, anxiety, fear, sadness or resignation. These emotions
alert the "fight/flight" part of our brain. If we have little self
control, little understanding of the needs of others or do not see the results
of reacting, we "jump the gun!"
If we learn to cope with stress, we have fewer battles. Teaching requires good coping skills, like patience, to help build the students' increasing trust and community. There are many coping skills to consider.
| Coping Strategies | |
| Distancing | Go on as though nothing occurred. Don't let it affect anything. |
| Willpower | Keep feelings to self. Refrain from reacting or following the first impulse. |
| Take responsibility | Criticize or lecture self. Apologize and do something to change or fix things. |
| Seek support | Ask a friend or relative for advice. Talk to a respected person about ideas. |
| Escape-avoidance | Avoid the situation or the people involved. Hope for a miracle. |
| Confrontive | Tell others about being upset. Try to get others to change things. |
| Problem Solving | Develop a plan of action and follow it. Concentrate on the next step. |
| Reappraisal | Change in positive way to see things differently. Rethink values or needs. |
- Adapted from Folkman & Lazarus, 1988
| If Rudyard Kipling |
Skills for Self Soothing |
| If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you But make allowance for their doubting, too; If you can wait and not be tired of waiting Or be lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don¹t look too good, nor talk too wise. If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master, If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim, If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you¹ve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop to build Œem up with worn out tools. If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them "Hold on!" If you can walk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with king -- nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, And all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute, With sixty seconds worth of distance run, Yours is the earth and everything that's in it, And which is more -- you¹ll be a Man, my son! |
Reason with yourself Stop hostile thoughts, feelings and urges Distract yourself Meditate - actively soothe self Avoid overstimulation Care for a petListen! Practice trusting others Give service to others Increase second person perspective Recognize and address your needs Be tolerant with self and others Forgive and let go - self and others Confide in someone you can trust Laugh at yourself- |