Respond to Drafts

ENG302 : The Class : The Process : Prose Style : Respond to Drafts
Respond to Drafts

To complete this assignment successfully, you should:

Study the assignment carefully
Enter your response(s) in the space(s) provided
Fill in your Name and Email address
Send the Assignment

Read below Ida Johnson’s problem and her first draft of her defense in the case of the cyclist who was run over. You will be asked to respond to some questions about her first draft.

Problem

Ida Johnson is driving her son home from basketball practice. She comes to a busy highway, onto which she must turn left to get home (see map). As the map shows, the highway turns sharply to the left just where Mrs. Johnson is stopped at a stop sign. Traffic is heavy and Mrs. Johnson slowly inches forward to get a better view of the oncoming traffic down the highway to her left. She is not yet on the highway when suddenly she sees a bicycle quickly approaching her car, on the highway's right edge. She stops immediately, and the bicycle swerves in an attempt to miss her, but the bicycle just grazes the front of her car. The rider loses control, and then crashes in the middle of the road. An oncoming car, unable to avoid the bicycle and rider sprawled in the middle of the highway, runs over them, killing the bicycle rider. The bicycle rider's family sues Mrs. Johnson.

Mrs. Johnson hires a lawyer who requires her to write her account of the accident. After using several prewriting techniques, Mrs. Johnson generates the following first draft:

First Draft

On January 8, 1983, I was attempting to make a left on Havasupai Drive onto Fort Valley Road when I was hit by a bicycle coming from my left, going east down Fort Valley Road. The rider of the bicycle was thrown by the impact out into the street, where an oncoming car ran over her. There was a large crowd around the victim.

When I came up to the stop sign at the corner I stopped completely and then slowly moved forward so I could see when I could make my left turn. I could not turn, so I inched forward very slowly. There was a bicycle moving slowly down the highway. The rider swerved toward the highway to avoid me, just grazed the front of my car, lost control of her bicycle, and crashed and landed in the middle of the highway. There was a car coming down the highway which ran the rider over and killed her. My car was still well out of the highway.

ASSIGNMENT Analyze the draft above by answering the following questions. Your work on this assignment will be worth 100 points. The grading criteria is posted below.

1. Is this first draft effective? Why or why not?

Type in your answer here

2. Does it satisfy the criteria of good writing (the Four C’s)? Please explain for each "C", giving examples.

Type in your answer here:

3. What specific improvements would you suggest? Delineate and explain why you would make these changes and rewrite her draft accordingly.

Type in your answer here:

Grading Criteria: Accident Report

Is the first draft effective? Why or why not?	15 pts.	50 pts.
Does it satisfy the criteria of good writing (the Four C's)? Pleas explain for each "C," giving examples.	20 pts.
What Specific improvements would you suggest? Delineate and explain why you would make theses changes	15 pts.
Rewrite draft accordingly -- the rest of the grading rubric which follows relates to this revision:

Clarity: Clearly Defined Purpose, Adequate Factual Support for Purpose, Clear and Appropriate Organization, Clear Sentences	15 pts.	50 pts.
Conciseness: Presentation that is long enough to get the job done, Effective Language	15 pts.
Coherence: Logical Patterns, Argumentative Patterns, Other Organizational Forms that create a flow for the document appropriate to audience, purpose, voice	10 pts.
Correctness: Appropriate Use of Standard Formats, Proper Grammer, Mechanics, and Other Conventions	10 pts.

Total Points Earned = _______/100

For grading purposes, please provide the following information:

Your Name:
Your Email address:

Once you have filled in all of the areas above, click the Send the assignment button below to send the assignment to the instructor.

E-mail Greg Larkin at Gregory.Larkin@nau.edu
or call (520) 523-4911

Web site created by the NAU OTLE Faculty Studio