Overview

ENG302 : The Class : The Process : Prose Style : Overview
Interactive Overview of the Topic

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The hallmark of an effective prose style in technical writing is conciseness. This is achieved by establishing the key words and concepts in the key positions of the sentence. The key positions of the sentence are subject, verb, and object. Once the key words are placed in those three positions, the rest of the sentence follows. Consider the following sentence:

There was a tiger moving in circles around us.

Identify the subject, verb, and object in terms of the positions of this sentence:

Subject = beginning = there

Verb = next position = was

Object = next position = tiger

The sentence is weak because positionally it is about a "there" that was "was-ing" a "tiger."

So ask yourself the following:

Who is doing the action = subject = tiger

What is the action = verb = circling

Who is receiving the action = object = us

Now write the sentence from this base:

A tiger was circling us.

First sentence = 9 words

New sentence = 5 words

I am not saying that all good sentences are short sentences. Sometimes you need a good bit of detail, which will make the sentence longer. That is fine--just add that detail to an effective base sentence:

A large tiger was circling us furiously, licking his chops.

1.
Try applying these principles to the sentences below:

A. It has recently come to light that you have been in direct contact with the architect engineer.
B. For the past two months we have been attempting to have the sink in the Coconino building completed.
C. It is important to note that a firm commitment for one compressor and a tentative commitment for a second compressor could be made with some company.
D. As you were informed by telephone on 30 September 1982, there exists a warranty on that item.
E. You broke the bell of one section of pipe while digging; however, examination revealed the pipe cracked prior to excavation.
F. It is further recommended that well #402 be plugged and abandoned.
G. If additional wells are to be drilled in this area, there will be additional expenditures of $75,000 for each well.
H. If a location is encountered where a sufficient source of commercial electric power is nearby, not requiring an initial investment of more than $50,000, then conversion should be considered.
I. It took the combined efforts of hundreds of scientists and technicians working as a team for our first space laboratory to be launched.

2. Now go to any online newspaper or magazine article you can find. Try the same exercise on each sentence of the article. Let me see the original article and your more concise revision.

3. If you have a question for me, ask:

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E-mail Greg Larkin at Gregory.Larkin@nau.edu
or call (520) 523-4911

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