Behavior Management Pro-active Technique Developmental Discipline
ESE502
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ESE502 : The Class : Discipline : Techniques : Complainer

Complainer/Whiner



Technique: Listen carefully to determine legitimacy of issue. Remember that the feelings underlying the complaints are real no matter what the nature or outcome of the actual complaint.

Procedures: Whining and complaining are part of growing up. Some children pass through the stage quickly, while others find it a useful tool. Ages four, seven, nine, and early adolescence are normal ages for increased whining, complaining, tattling, and eventually, gossiping.
The adolescent who whines may be continuing a childhood behavior. If it is a habitual way of communicating without a feeling of disenfranchisement:
  1. Talk with the student one on one.
  2. Gain permission to tape the student and have them play the tape listening to voice quality
  3. Ask the speech therapist in the school district to discuss breathing and vocal quality and production of intonation with the students.
  4. A parent involved in theater or a school vocal director can provide similar information.
  5. Help the student(s) to monitor and review speaking voices.
Whining may identify a person as feeling powerless and upset. Try these:
  1. Appraise personal view of life. If student tends to self sabotage, develop a strategy for improving personal view of life and ways to validate self.
  2. Self evaluate to determine level of anger or hostility. If angry, develop techniques to express feelings productively and in a timely fashion, then find, practice and use powerful, personally successful methods for self soothing.
  3. Provide a lesson on assertiveness, helping students to identify options that are empowering and genuinely address issues they find upsetting.

    1. Determine that the situation requires action
    2. Be certain someone (including self) genuinely needs to be defended

Ascertain that a potentially effective action is available.

THEN. . . Make a simple and firm request +
Describe the problem or behavior +
Express second person perspective - empathize +
Add own feelings +
State alternatives if feelings and needs are not heeded.

THEN . . . Observe the outcome, allowing adequate time to pass.
Success? Congratulations! Thank the person.
No Change?
  1. check to see if the person understood
  2. examine your position to be certain it is worth pursuing and has not changed
  3. ask for outside help in clarifying your position
  4. distance self from other

OR . . . Escalate efforts at resolution because the relationship is vital and so is the need. Compromise can include a creative solution that exceeds everyone’s hopes and needs.

Once you have finished you should:

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E-mail J'Anne Ellsworth at Janne.Ellsworth@nau.edu

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