Gossiping

Technique: Gossiping is a self reinforcing behavior that originates as a defense. It works as a tensional release and tends to elevate the person’s sense of well being in the short run, but tears down rather than building community and sets up competitive rather than cooperative feelings.

Procedures:

1. Explain and define what constitutes gossiping and how it differs from productive conversing and discussing.
   
   
   1. Finds fault with another
      
   2. Puts another in a bad light
      
   3. Describes or details behaviors that most people consider private or intimate affairs
      
   4. If discussing problems, it is done from the vantage of “ain’t it awful” rather than as a constructive and meaningful teaming to provide insight towards helping the person
   
   
2. Review communications material from T. A. and practice adult messages.
   
   
   Paren : Accuse, berate, belittle, boss
   Adult : Espress feelings and needs directly and non judgementally
   Child : Whine, complain, tease and hassle
   
   Healthy communication tends to come from the “adult” position. Gossiping tends to be more of a “parent” message that blames, berates and belittles.
   
   
3. Review value communication lessons (Content Emphasis) and increasing tolerance (Capstone)
   
   
4. Try “Looks like, Sounds like” activities to increase awareness of things being said and to work to improve a more positive ambiance.
   
   
5. Model these ideas, refraining from gossip about the school or students.
   
   
6. Most importantly, work to say good of others and to set a classroom climate that rewards kindness and thoughtfulness.

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E-mail J'Anne Ellsworth at Janne.Ellsworth@nau.edu

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